is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize