she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
