Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
