I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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