So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
