I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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