Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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