I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize