id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
