Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
