if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
