I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
