I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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