so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
