Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize