Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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