id be glad to
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize