oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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