Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize