obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
