dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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