You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
be right there i have to get my cape
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
