Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize