Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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