Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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