Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
