Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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