Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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