doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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