Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
