I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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