He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
