I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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