Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
