I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
