Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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