Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
