somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
