Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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