This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
