Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
