It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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