well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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