my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize