I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
