dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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