Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
