Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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