I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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