What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
