So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Rumble strips road head = magical
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
