I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
