It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
