Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
