she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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