so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
