I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
