i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
