how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
